Top 150 Best Ricky Bobby Quotes

Top 150 Best Ricky Bobby Quotes – The funniest Ricky Bobby quotes are some of the best Talladega Nights quotes in general as well as some of Will Ferrell’s funniest movie lines. Ricky Bobby was brought-up by his mother and saw his father once during his childhood only, but he learned a “need for speed” from his father.

These Ricky Bobby words will:

  • Give you a new perspective on NASCAR
  • Offer you a good laugh
  • Leave you with some words that are relatable to things people go through in life

He is full of laughs, particularly with the relationship with his Father, Mother, and best friend. The Talladega nights movie will make you laugh from start to finish with a hilarious cast of characters. It received positive reviews, with praise for its “mix of satire, clever gags, and excellent ensemble performances.” It crossed over $163 million worldwide and was the number1 film at the box office in its first week. These top 150 best Ricky Bobby quotes will make you feel like a winner.

Top 150 Best Ricky Bobby Quotes

“I came here to tell you one thing: come race time tomorrow, I’ll come for you.”

“It is the fastest that is paid and it is the fastest that is laid.”

“I Just Read In The Paper That They Put A Pig’s Heart In Some Guy In Russia.”

“I prefer to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says I want to be formal.”

“Here’s the deal, I’m the best! simple.”

“Man, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Always remember, if you are not the first, you are the last.”

“This sticker is dangerous and annoying but I love Fig Newtons.”

“I’m not sure what to practice with my hands.”

“You must cross the anger bridge and return to the friendship shore.”

“Well let me just quote the late great Colonel Sanders who said: ‘I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”

“I want to go fast!”

“See you when you grow up.”

“Tom Cruise, Use Your Spell On Me To Take The Fire Out Of Me!”

“I’m just a big hairy American winning machine, you know?”

“Help me, Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me, Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to take the fire out of me!”

“Cal, that’s a new house! It just has a lot of creaks and groans and moans in it!”

“You have to learn to drive with fear, and there is nothing scarier as hell than driving with a live cougar in the car.”

“From Now On, You’re The Magic Man And I’m From The Devil.”

“Will we get the concept? Because I’m complex as a diamond in an ice storm right now.”

“Go back, I will windmill you.”

“You don’t drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart.”

“Well let me quote the late great Colonel Sanders who said… ‘I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”

“Holy moly, that’s like looking up Yasmine Bleeth’s skirt!”

“Now, there’s nothing like driving to avoid jail. Nothing improves your mind and your instincts like a necessity.”

“You Sound Like A Dog With Peanut Butter On The Roof Of His Mouth.”

“Oh hey, I’m Ricky Bobby.”

“I felt like I was on a spaceship.”

“Will we get it? Because I’m complex as a diamond in an ice storm right now.”

“Holding hands with a man makes me uncomfortable.”

“Please be 18.”

“No ma’am. I haven’t seen my dad in years. But my mom says he gets out racing cars and, well, dips his wick into anything that moves.”

“I am embarrassed. I thought I could feel it.”

“Absolutely madam. I would like to sign your baby. You won’t want to wash that face.”

“Here’s the deal—I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I pee excellently.”

“I would like to sign your baby!”

“Susan, you have to watch it when I go into autograph mode.”

“Where are you, Pepé Le Bitch?”

“If you don’t chew Big Red, then screw you.”

“Like Christmas Jesus is at his best and I say grace. When you say grace, you can say it to a grown-up Jesus, a teenage Jesus or a bearded Jesus, or whoever you want.”

“Losing is never fun, but here’s something to keep your spirits up. It is really beautiful. I got it at Target. It is for sale.”

“When working on your mystery ladies, you should have the right tools.”

“Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, Jesus, we thank you very much for this bountiful harvest of Dominoes, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell.”

“Why the hell am I even talking to you anyway?”

“I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I mean, I wake up in the morning, and I pee excellently.”

​​”Dear 8 Pound 6 Ounce Newborn Baby Jesus, Doesn’t Even Know a Word Yet.”

“No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my advanced income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.”

“I’m just a big hairy American winning machine. If you are not the first, you are the last.”

“Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! AH! Help me, Tom Cruise!”

“I get emotional. You guys work so hard, and I’m so proud of you. You remind me of me, precocious and full of wonder.”

“Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, Jesus, we thank you very much for this bountiful harvest of Dominoes, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell.”

“Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I pee excellently.”

“I like the Christmas Jesus the most and I say grace. When you say grace, you can say it to a grown-up Jesus, a teenage Jesus or a bearded Jesus, or whoever you want.”

“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says something like: ‘I want to be formal, but I’m also here to party.”

“You don’t understand. You don’t understand because you don’t understand freedom. You don’t understand freedom.”

“It’s nice. I got it at Target. It is for sale.”

“I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.”

“Health systems, giant water parks. The same reason anyone comes to America.”

“It is in the Geneva Convention!”

“Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red smoking wife, Carley.”

“Well let me quote the late great Colonel Sanders who said “…” I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”

“Break it, Pepé Le Pew.”

“I’m just a big hairy American winning machine, you know?”

“ANARCHY! ANARCHY!”

“That idea is not worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin surprising it.”

“Hell yes I am! They are winners! That’s how the winners talk!”

Best Quotes From Ricky Bobby

“Grandma? How much longer will we have to do this?”

“Let me just quote the late great Colonel Sanders. He said: ‘I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”

“I hope you both have sons… Beautiful, handsome, articulate sons who are talented and star athletes, and they are swept off their feet. I mean I pray that you know that pain and that pain.”

“I and my friends skipped school and we filled a cup with piss and tried to give our neighbor’s dog a drink. But he wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I fly through the air. This is not good.”

“I came here to tell you one thing: come race time tomorrow, I’ll come for you.”

“Old man, I will come to you like a spider monkey!”

“I’m on fire!”

“It won the Academy Award… Best movie ever made.”

“I don’t know what that means, but I LOVE it.”

“Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! AH! Help me, Tom Cruise!”

“You can’t have two No. 1s.”

“You better shut the hell up or I’ll come over there and tear a hole in that tent!”

“Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to take the fire out of me!”

“Help me, Oprah Winfrey!”

“Ricky Bobby: “I hope you both have sons who are talented and star athletes and they’ve had their legs removed. I mean, I pray that you know that pain and that hurts.”

“The ninjas are trying to catch me.”

“I feel like I’ve been riding inside an asteroid or comet or something.”

“Hey, I don’t know why I’m talking to you. Do you remember that I hate you?”

“Down, Karen! Get down! Get down, Karen!”

“Dear Lord, baby Jesus, laying there in your ghostly manger just watching your Baby Einstein development videos learning about shapes and colors…”

“Everyone turns away. Things are going to get crazy. We will make animal noises.”

“Time to let the cougar loose.”

“Well, what do you say we get kicked out of Applebee’s?”

“Super is ready! Come on, all of you! I slave over it for hours.”

“Jesus did grow.”

“Golly, this is a tough decision, but I’ve thought about it, and I want the plug pulled.”

“Has more plugs in him than Circuit City.”

“Shake and bake!”

“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says something like: ‘I want to be formal, but I’m also here to party.”

“I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.”

“You nailed that like a cracked pig.”

“I’ll hold your hair.”

“I’ll just bury it inside.”

“It’s painful, and I love you!”

“Please don’t let the invisible fire burn my friend!”

“When you say psychosomatic, do you mean he could start a fire with his thoughts?”

“Sometimes you get a knock on the head, you get special powers. It happens all the time. Read a comic book, okay?”

“What’s implication mean?”

“Because I like to party.”

“I’m the Magic Man now.”

“Abracadabra, men!”

“My head’s all tied up like a pretzel.”

“Shake it before you bake it!”

“I don’t care, I’m having a baby!”

“Now I am declaring Granny Law and if you do not obey Granny Law, I will paint your back porch red.”

“How many more times are you going to toss me the radio in the bathtub?”

“Oh, better than grits!”

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have been standing.”

“Chip, I’m going to come at you like a spider monkey.”

“I’m all jacked up on Mountain Dew.”

“Grandfather, can’t we resolve this conflict without anger?”

“Why did you stop the jazz music? Was it not pleasant for you?”

“I think what you are hearing is my accent.”

“I’ll let you go, Ricky, but first I want you to say: ‘I love crepes.”

“Your wound is one of ignorance and pride.”

“You spilled my macchiato.”

“Hakuna matata, b****es.”

“My husband Gregorio and I just want what every couple wants, to retire to Stockholm and design currency for dogs and cats.”

“God needs the devil. The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric?”

Inspirational Words From Ricky Bobby

“Now we will dance, and yes, there will be a slow jam.”

“And now the matador will dance with the blind shoemaker.”

“By defeating me today, you set me free.”

“Sir, you taste America.”

“It is not always bad to be in last place. Here are some things we can focus on. 1. We tried and 2. We are still dear friends.”

“Sorry Lucius, but it’s a hard habit to break, like stalking an ex-girlfriend.”

“Don’t put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don’t put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!”

“We will use this knife to tear it out!” (trying to remove a knife from Ricky’s leg).”

“Quite a Lady. I would love to Sign Your Baby.”

“The Ninjas Are Trying to Get Me.”

“Man, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Everyone Turns Away. Things Are Gonna Get Crazy. We will make Animal Noises.”

“Well, what do you say we get kicked out of Applebee’s?”

“Shake And Bake!”

“I Just Read In The Paper That They Put A Pig’s Heart In Some Guy In Russia.”

“Cal, that’s a new house! It just has a lot of creaks and groans and moans in it!”

“Holy moly, that’s like looking up Yasmine Bleeth’s skirt!”

“You Sound Like A Dog With Peanut Butter On The Roof Of His Mouth.”

“Holding hands with a man makes me uncomfortable.”

“I thought I could feel the embarrassment I experienced.”

“I Lived My Whole Life Through That!”

“Losing is never fun, but here’s something to keep your spirits up. It is really beautiful. I got it at Target. It is for sale.”

“Why the hell am I even talking to you anyway?”

“Yes, Flying Through The Air. This Is Not Good.”

Conclusion

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Frequently Asked Questions

His quote, “If you ain’t first, you’re last,” says everything about how he lives his life. In the movie, Ricky Bobby goes from having everything to having nothing

So Ricky Bobby prays: “Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus. Don’t even know a word yet, but still omnipotent, with your golden diapers.” Ricky Bobby’s preference of praying to Baby Jesus is challenged by some of his family, who point out that Jesus did, indeed, grow up.

Reference(s)

  • everydaypower.com – Ricky Bobby words from Talladega Nights
  • pinterest.com – Best Ricky Bobby words Ideas

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